The Comedians Wife

The Comedians Wife
If it's good luck when it rains on your wedding day, what does it mean if a hurricane blows through?

Monday, July 26, 2010

Where my girls at?

In this day and age of scankalicious girls, when it has become easier to earn recognition and success, by screwing someones husband, than actually working for anything that means anything.  I have decided to write a blog about the women in my life who really matter! The women who would rather cut off a pinkie toe than sleep with a married man.  The women who remind their daughters and their sons what it means to be a decent human being.  The women who would actually find humiliation and harrowing grief if ever the cause of breaking up a family.  The women, who are my friends!

I am admittedly a tabloid junky.  I don't want to be, but I am.  I slip the Us Weekly, OK Magazine, and Star, under the pack of diapers,  along side all my other "organic" groceries, thinking to myself just how UN ORGANIC, I am being. Pay the cashier and run out of there.   After reading one of these latest treasures, about all of the home wrecking, soulless, messes I needed to stop.  I needed to take a shower, and check to make sure my lips were still at a normal size, because apparently I have missed the memo that looking like a blow fish is hot this season.

That being said, I have taken the  liberty in this blog to tell you about some of the most fantastic women I know.  My friends.  They are so much more fabulous then those stank pot vagina's, and really should be recognized!

My dad once told me if you can count on one hand the amount of friends you have that really mean something to you, you're lucky.  The kind of friend that you can call in the middle of the night.  The girl who always influences you in a positive way.  Routes for you always.  No matter how many careers or chosen paths you have found that month, and truly knows the difference between when to tell you the truth, and when to lie to you!  (Example: when you're swollen like a tick from pregnancy, and your ass is as wide as the couch, your feet look like two sausages, and they still tell you how fabulous you look in your moo moo, and how no other pregnant woman has ever been as beautiful.  Then hand you the box of oreo's, and actually eat them with you!)

I am lucky enough to have many of these real friends, and they are funny ass women who deserve to be celebrated!

Some of these women have been around my whole life.  Some of these women just a few years.  Some, new rookies, who have influenced me already, and I admire how they choose to live their lives.

The oldies know my secrets and love me anyway.  Never judge, and decorate my life with humor, creativity and the organizational skills I tend to lack. They worry for me when I should be worrying and don't.  They are my doctors, even though they might not have medical degrees.  My lawyers, when  I can't figure a situation out, and my personal cheer leading squad, when I'm just about to quit! Oh and of course the voice of reason when I'm sure I need those $800 dollar shoes to wear while I change diapers!

These women have held my hair in ugly situations, preformed emergency eye surgery on my eye lid when something strange was happening to it, and there was no time for imperfections on the face.

They teach me, when they make difficult choices such as leaving the comfort of a job, or a situation, to start all over again however terrifying and uncomfortable it may be.

Get me to go on adventures and keep me from losing my keys and license without ever complaining.

Inspire me, and show me that just because you're a mom doesn't mean that's all you are.  They never wait for the phone to ring, and don't take no for an answer.

I'm thinking of starting my own magazine, where the cover stories would read more like, "Working mom, survives 14 hour day filming in Las Vegas, then turns back into a pumpkin and cuts the crust off grilled cheese, all while playing princess tea party and never breaks a sweat!" I would buy that magazine  and not hide it under the diapers! I'm just saying!

So to my Dancer, "Doctor", Asian, Artist, Actress, Writer, Childhood 4, the red head, nervous Nelly, and my sisters...Thank you!

Without you...I'd probably be a skankalicious asshole!


  1. So true! I have one good friend that I can always count on.....and when I say one good friend...I literally mean ONE.

  2. Tra - you would never be a skank asshole - NEVER. But a dirty whore?!?! well thats another story altogether.

    Much love

  3. "My dad once told me if you can count on one hand the amount of friends you have that really mean something to you, you're lucky." Sounds like something Greenberg would say. He probably was delirious after sitting in his house on a 95 degree day with the A/C set at 75 degrees aka "The Congo" setting.

    On a serious note... this is very true. Good stuff.

    And @nromano, who's your one GOOD friend?

  4. what about the women who pretend to sleep with your husband? where do we fall? ; )

    high five and amen to everything you said! i love it. and all my girls, too...

  5. hahahahhaa that would be you! Okay this is not facebook ...we cant be chatting like this. Comments about the blog ONLY!