Forgive me for not having written in a while, I was temporarily taken down by a few forces beyond my control! (Thank you Mother Nature...You bitch!) First there was the man cold, which I talked about in my last blog! Leaving me like a drowning woman clutching for a straw. Followed by the baby cold. Which lets face it, is just about as bad as a gigantic pimple arriving on the tip of your nose the day of your wedding. You have nightmares about it, the very thought of it keeps you up all night. You try and plan ahead for it. You do everything in your power to prevent it! But ...when it shows up, all red and pussy, like it's proud to be there. It's a disaster.
The baby cold is the equivalent to this kind of chaos! That first sign of cloudy, thick, sticky and glue like mucus running from your babies nose, immediately throws all new mothers into a state of panic. This clear drippy mucus slowly running out your child's nose like a broken faucet, has the ability to render new moms helpless and confused, sort of like a really bad date. Useless, is all advice on how to treat this monster that's thrashing around in your child's system. Infuriating phrases like, "Let nature take it's course", "It's just a cold, nothing you can do." Seem to take over your brain, and makes you want to punch someone hard. We've practically cured aids, but yet nothing for the damn cold. Had god given me a better sense of science than shoes, I might be coming up with a cure right now. Oh and while I was at it, a cure for ear infections, so that no child shall ever get one again! Now there's a shot I bet parents would be lining up for!
Anyway, my point behind my man/baby cold rant, is that you can keep knocking mother nature, but you can't knock me down. I have bigger battles to fight! Bigger fish to fry! Bigger undertakings to take! Bigger bitches than you! Bigger as in...The planning of the 2nd Birthday Party for my favorite boy big! Far more scary than the cold! It's on!
Anyone who knows me, knows I am a big fan of birthdays and an even bigger fan of birthday parties. I love me a good "theme" party, and will settle for nothing less than fireworks and donut trucks! Last year I nearly broke the bank trying to create the most perfect, "Under the Sea", first birthday party, where I literally had the party thrown in a room which was basically a giant shark tank! Brilliant if you ask me! I had my husband dress up as DJ Lance Rock from Yo Gabba Gabba, and although terrifying to my child, and quite possibly emotionally damaging, it made for a great party memory! Lessons you learn on the first child!
As my party planner self began to emerge, my husband turned to me and said, "Oh that's just great, lets just go overboard again for a party he will never remember! Why must we put all this time and effort into something he will never even get?"
I swiftly punched him in the nuts and said, "You play a game that requires you put all your time and effort, pretending you are a general manager of a pseudo-football team, that doesn't even exist, and has the word fantasy in it's title! A game in which you stress out frequently, waste numerous amounts of brain cells on, and for no other reason than to say, "Hey I Won NOTHING! It's not real!"
He looked at me and said ...,"So what's your point?"
I looked at him and said," My point!" "MY POINT is, we are having a very DINOSAURUS second birthday for our son! You will be Stegosaurus Steve and like it. You will not complain. You will wear any and all costumes I give to you to wear. You will roar like the best dinosaur you have ever heard when asked, (you're an actor after all right?) You will not look at the credit card statement for at least a month after the party, and you will most definitely never ask ever again why I am having this party! That is my point."
His answer..."Fair Enough!"
At least he's learning!
So for now my virtual world of blogger friends and family, I will be concentrating on throwing the most excellent Dinosaurus 2nd birthday party ever!
I plan on attempting my very first fondant cake! (No doubt I will blog about that later) Making thousands of cookies shaped liked Dinosaurs. Purchasing everything that has a dinosaur on it, in it, or near it! Catering a delicious menu of dinorific treats. Oh and if anyone out there knows Dino Dan, that would be really helpful. Trying to rent that kid is a bitch! I usually demand the help of my BFF Kim, (she'll dress up as anything), plus she's tiny like a kid, and fits into everything, last year I made her be a fish, and flap around, but the girl is buried under the 42 feet of snow NY graced us with, and apparently has better things to do than give out dinosaur rides. What's up with that?
So even with all the craziness and chaos surrounding our everyday lives, I wouldn't change a thing, and look forward to the stress an agony this birthday party will surly cause me!
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