The Comedians Wife

The Comedians Wife
If it's good luck when it rains on your wedding day, what does it mean if a hurricane blows through?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Pain in the ass packaging.

Okay, I have a complaint. A big one! PACKAGING! You know what I'm talking about.  Packaging so frustrating to open, it elicits the most mild mannered of people, to spew profanities so vulgar it would make a filthy sailor blush. Do we really have that many crooks in the world?   If so, shouldn't we be worried about packaging things like TVs or  expensive electronics?  Why does it have to be the every day stuff.  I mean seriously, when was the last time you opened a box of cereal and didn't struggle with the bag inside?  I say if you're a thief who manages to get through the preposterous packaging that's out there now, you deserve whatever it is you stole.

  One of the worst packages to get through...plastic -encased packs of sippy cups? Impossible! Show me the woman who can do this in a jam, with out slicing a finger or smashing the cups up against the kitchen counter, and I will give her an award! The Sippy Cup Opener Champion Of The World Award.  It will include a glittery belt, and lifetime supply of already opened sippy cups.

I mean come on manufacturer's. Don't you realize us mommies are sometimes in a hurry.  Do you know what it is like to have a screaming toddler in the middle of Target while you're trying to buy one measly roll of toilet paper.   You need to do anything in your power to quiet them down, and that usually entails breaking into whatever shiny package you can find that has the words COOKIE or TOY written across it.   Target, can you  do me a favor and make this task just a tad bit easier damn it. Lay off the prison chains around the Oreo's.   I promise we will still pay for the slobbered on cookies when we get to the counter.

Today while packing for a trip back east, and what is sure to be the worst 5 hours of my life.  I was trying to prepare my bag of tricks, that's suppose to help me conquer anything this 5 hour flight and 19 month old monster might have in store for me.  I started with snacks, got those open and put into zip lock bags fairly easy, then DVDs.  I carefully began to unwrap the 14 Sesame Street DVDs I purchased to help keep my son,hence myself sane on our journey, and I nearly killed someone.  I actually had a full on MMA fight with a DVD that had a picture of Elmo on its cover and practically pulled a hamstring in the process. How dare this DVD not open! I was sweating and cursing and stomping on this damn DVD case, all the while Elmo's stupid little red face was staring back at me.  I was not going to let it win.  Finally with one bloody finger and a huge "Mother...BLEEEEEP" I ripped the damn thing open. Utter satisfaction!

So a big F.U to all those packaging people.  I win!  Only 13 more DVDs to go!


  1. I am not a mommy and I can surely relate! However, have you ever noticed that the things that probably need to have those casings are things like GE Light Bulbs, yet, they are surrounded with a light cardboard box contraption instead? Go figure!

  2. Absoulutely hysterically true! Weve all been there honey.Try explaining it in the emergency room, they all look at you with a yeah, uh huh, sure you did. LOL