The Comedians Wife

The Comedians Wife
If it's good luck when it rains on your wedding day, what does it mean if a hurricane blows through?

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Deal of the day!


There must be a chemical in the brain that is released when one finds a bargain. At least there is in my brain. For me, there is no better high than seeing the words SALE colorfully splashed across the window of a store.  I can start to feel the excitement building in my body as I approach the racks with the ever so beautiful white cardboard signs that say 50% off!  I am immediately turned on and ready to score.

I take the art of shopping very seriously and that is why I have practiced over and over again for many many years. Like any great artist who excels in their field, controversy is sure to follow.  Some people don’t understand the dedication and heart it takes just to put together the perfect outfit.   By some people I mean my husband, but sometimes a great artist is not recognized until they are dead! 

The skill it takes to maneuver through a shoe sale gracefully is ethereal.  The ability to move ones eyes up and down sales racks taking a mental inventory of what sizes are available, what colors are in stock, which shoe goes with what you have in your closet, all while doing the math of what 30% off of $125.89 is spellbinding.  If you asked me to do a simple math  problem a 6th grader might have I would panic and start to fidget for the first gadget I could find that had a calculator.  If you asked me to grab four size 8, spring inspired d’orsay peep toe heels, calculate the percentage off of each one, and tally up the grand total, I could do it in a heartbeat.  Not only that, but I could do it, trying on a wedge sandal, pushing the girl reaching for my shoe out of the way, rocking the stroller to keep my son asleep, while checking to see if the added inches the wedge gave me in the mirror make me look thinner!

The high that comes with finding the perfect shoe and flipping it over to see that bright red sticker staring back at you that says half/off is intoxicating.  You have beat “The Man” today.   That Miss Sixty brown leather wedge, normally $200 and change, $60 at Macy’s is your gold metal!  Today I wished I had one of those vuvuzelas horns from the world cup, and was able to run up and down the shoe department yelling “GOAL” or in my case “SCORE” that’s how happy I felt.  In respect for the meeker women around me who had no idea what they were doing I refrained myself.  

3 comments:

  1. Love it! This made me laugh and smile! It definitely is the best rush a girl can get! When I moved to CT, the movers asked me what all these large boxes were that I had packed ever so precisely. I explained they were over 100 pairs of shoes in them and they were marked "Fragile" on purpose! The guy looked at me like I had three heads. What does he know?!

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  2. I feel the same way.Its an art!

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  3. I can't wait until you get sick of them and hand them down to me!!! Actually I think we should start a rule, you get new shoes, you have to donate an old pair...TO ME! Wait a minute, we don't wear the same size. Damn it!

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