The Comedians Wife

The Comedians Wife
If it's good luck when it rains on your wedding day, what does it mean if a hurricane blows through?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Warning, the "Man Cold" is going around!

As if having a toddler to keep healthy during cold and flu season isn't hard enough.  I now have to worry about helping my grown up child, (other wise known as my husband), stay alive through this growing epidemic of a disease called the "man cold." You've heard of this deadly disease right?

After all it is the most debilitating disease a man can get.  Almost all men will die of this "man cold" if they do not have large, and I'm talking LARGE amounts of attention paid to them.  They must be told at least every half an hour just how hard it must be to struggle through such an awful disease.  They must feel how brave, we as women think they are. You as the care taker must be available at a moments notice to refresh glasses of orange juice, ice tea, and diet Ginger Ale. Failure to do so will lead to an absolute death sentence.  Women of course could never catch the  "man cold", therefore we will never know the agony they are put through when they contract this near fatal disease.

Many many boxes of tissues are required. The soft kind with aloe.  You must get the right tissues or their sensitive man nose could be compromised of smelling forever.  You mine as well just take stock in DayQuil now, because you're going to need endless amounts of those little red gel caps.

Note to my readers: If you run out of DAYQuil, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT give your husband a NyQuil pill instead... Innocently thinking it's probably all the same thing. It's not! That will only end with you having to drag what feels like a 4,000lb bull across the living room floor, into the bedroom, to stop the snoring beast you have created, you are sure the neighbors can here, and is scaring your son! Take my word on this one.

Also, several runs to fast food joints and bakeries will be required at this time. It seems the only real remedy to this "man cold" is McDonald's or a box of  Entenmann's chocolate chip cookies, followed by a marathon of the Housewives of Beverly Hills.

There is a good chance your man will not be able to lift a single finger around the house for many many days, but will be required to play in his basketball leagues Tuesday night game.  He might have to drag himself out the door like soldier going to war, but...what kind of man would he be, if he let his team down.

This "man cold" is going around ladies, and if yours happens to catch it,  I wish you a speedy recovery, with no major fatalities.  I say that because this "man cold" is just as likely to kill the person taking care of the man with the cold, then he himself.  May god grant you the patience of a saint in these tough times, and the heart of a warrior.  You will need it to survive.


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